Cfaadraynd
by The RyRy
Summary: Postgame, without the Good or Perfect Endings. Without Tidus, Yuna finds herself on Besaid Island after Brother wrecked the Celsius. She's been receiving letters, but she's got something else on her mind...
1. One

**Cfaadraynd**

_My dearest Yuna,_

_I send my condolences regarding the fate of the airship; that must be a grave loss for you and all of the Gullwings. I see that although the Al Bhed claim to be masters of machinery, they still have not perfected the art of piloting an airship – or is that simply a particular talent of your leader's? It is a shame that it cannot be salvaged, and I wish you and those working on it the best of luck in finding a way to salvage what you can._

_I have also received word of your restlessness in Besaid, which is to be expected with the loss of the freedom that an airship would bring. Therefore, I invite you to come spend a few days with me in Bevelle – certainly the presence of the High Summoner would calm the nerves of the people of the city. So far, the integration with the Youth League hasn't gone as well as we were hoping, but we are well on the way to finding a common ground. Perhaps seeing you again would remind the people of the good in the world, and give them the courage to forge onward toward the future we are building for ourselves. Although, I do not claim responsibility if they ask you to sing for them._

_It has been too long since I have been able to set my eyes on you, my lady. I would certainly welcome the opportunity – send the word, and I will have an airship at your doorstep as quickly as I am able. _

_All my best, _

_Baralai_

Yuna bowed her head over Baralai's written words, closing her eyes. The Praetor of New Yevon was most certainly flirting with her, and had been ever since she, Rikku, and Paine had flown away from Luca Stadium on the _Celsius_. Rikku had even noticed it, and Rikku was an expert on those sorts of things.

Her hands shaking, Yuna folded up the brittle parchment paper that the Praetor always wrote to her on, placing it back inside the pale beige envelope. It wasn't that she didn't like Baralai – that was far from the case! It was simply that she was afraid of him.

Yes, afraid. Every time she looked at him, she could see Shuyin rising from his form, pale tan around the edges where his form faded into pyreflies, bringing destruction down on Spira with Vegnagun. Yuna couldn't see past that, and what was worse, she couldn't see past Shuyin… and _him_.

Every time she saw Baralai, she saw Tidus behind him, hovering like a cream colored waft of a ghost.

"Whatcha got there, your highness?"

Gippal, on the other hand, was entirely his own entity. Yuna had memories with him, too, but none of them like Baralai. Gippal was always just Gippal, and the only person that ever hovered behind him was Rikku… even if Rikku posed her own problems.

However, Yuna couldn't help but to smile as she turned around. That familiar voice could belong to no one else and always put her completely at ease. "A letter from Baralai, Gippal," she replied, smiling and averting her eyes from the man standing in the doorway of her hut, displacing the tan and brown cover that served as a door.

"What's he bothering you for?" Gippal proceeded to walk inside of the hut, the cloth doorflap swinging behind him in a flurry of earth tones, and sat down on one of the wicker chairs with his legs crossed.

Yuna suppressed a grin at the way Gippal fell into the chair, flowing with a liquid movement that would be out of place on anyone else. "He just invited me to Bevelle for a few days, that's all."

Gippal's grin made Yuna's spine tingle. "I see the Praetor is trying to make good with the High Summoner."

"I think he's just being courteous," Yuna protested.

"Oh really?" Gippal uncrossed his legs and leaned his elbows on his knees. "So that explains why he's sent you a letter every week ever since Brother crash landed us here?"

Yuna turned away, feeling her cheeks burn. "H-how is that going, by the way?" she asked, desperate to get off the topic. "I mean, the rebuilding?"

She could almost feel Gippal's wry smile on the back of her neck. His expressions were readable even when she wasn't directly looking at him. "Well, considering the cooling fans are completely shot and there's nothing on this island we can use to make new ones, we haven't had any luck with getting the thing to not practically explode every time we start her up," he answered easily, his voice animated with obvious amusement. Yuna almost hated the way Gippal could see through her, but that would require hating something about Gippal – which Yuna found absolutely impossible. "So maybe," Gippal continued, and Yuna heard him standing up, "we should pay the Praetor a visit, and perhaps the High Summoner could _request_ some airship parts from him—"

"You're terrible!" Yuna protested, turning around and balling her hands into fists.

"I'm just teasing you, _cfaadraynd_," Gippal said, smiling as he put his darkly tanned hands on Yuna's shoulders. Somehow, Gippal calling her 'sweetheart' in Al Bhed didn't have quite the impact that it would have if he had used regular Spiran. It was just another thing Gippal did that put Yuna entirely at ease.

It perfectly complemented the way he put his fingers under her chin and gently lifted her face upward for one of his irresistible kisses. His mouth was always so warm and inviting, his lips just soft enough to make Yuna's heart skip a beat, but not so soft that he lost his presence. Gippal was always Gippal, and he was always right there when Yuna needed him.

Especially during these kisses.

"Rikku's going to kill me," Yuna murmured breathlessly, her words falling on Gippal's lower lip as soft as sand in the wind.

"That'd be a shame," Gippal replied, tacking on his usual cocky grin that he wore whenever Yuna mentioned how Rikku would be so upset when she found out that Gippal was cheating on her… with her cousin.

Or, Yuna wondered, was Gippal cheating on _her_ with Rikku?

She never could tell. Gippal had this way of smiling at both of them that first made Yuna weak in the knees, and next seemed to indicate that he wouldn't mind having both of them around.

As she found Gippal's mouth on hers again, Yuna thought that she might not mind either.

_Dear Baralai,_

_Thank you for your kindness, and for your offer. Unfortunately, there are pressing matters in Besaid that I have gotten involved with, so I cannot accept your graciousness. I do thank you, however, though perhaps I shall visit you another time. _

_As for the airship… Gippal wants to know if you'd arrange for a pair of fans to be delivered. I request, politely, that you refuse – I believe he's just trying to use you, Baralai, and that's terrible of him. I think it would be only fitting if you denounced him and offered no assistance, forcing him to remain here in Besaid with us forever. _

_Sincerely, _

_Yuna_


	2. Two

**Part Two**

_My dearest Yuna,_

_I thank you for your return letter, and am sorry to hear of the circumstances on Besaid. However, my offer still stands, should you ever wish to come to Bevelle. The people would be greatly happy to have a visit from the High Summoner. _

_As I received your letter, I was speaking with one of the representatives of the Machine Faction currently in Bevelle. I informed him of the situation with the needed parts, and he said that the required equipment would be shipped out of Kilika as soon as he could get word back to Djose. Apparently quite a few rumors have been circulating about Gippal and his whereabouts – I believe the Machine Faction is quite grateful to finally have news of his location._

_Please let me know if you need anything at all, Yuna. I am at your service. _

_Best wishes,_

_Baralai_

Yuna watched as Gippal buttoned his pants, a simple pair of jeans that he had started wearing after spending a few days on Besaid Island. The blue had faded and had changed to an odd color of green from swimming in the salty ocean. "Where are you going?" she asked, putting down Baralai's letter on the bedside table, on a cloth the same color as Gippal's jeans.

"I got a message from Benga, at the Machine Faction," Gippal explained, fastening his belt on the very first hole. "They're delivering fans for the _Celsius_ today, which means I need to be there to meet them."

"Baralai organized it," Yuna informed him.

"Thanks for asking him." Gippal ran his hands through his spikes, arranging them into order on the top of his head.

"I didn't ask him," Yuna replied, her eyes following every movement of Gippal's hands.

"Oh, I see," Gippal replied, turning away from the mirror finally, his vivid emerald eye meeting Yuna's gaze. "So you wanted to keep me here, did you?"

Yuna stood up off the bed slowly, digging her fingernails into her palms. "No, that's not it!" She bit her lower lip, turning her eyes to the ground and tracing the lines of the green and yellow woven rug.

"Aw, _cfaadraynd_, you don't have to deny it," Gippal replied, tangling his hand in the back of Yuna's hair. "I know you'd hate to see me go."

He was so arrogant that it made Yuna clench her teeth… the terrible part was that he was right. Everything he said was right – she didn't want to see him leave Besaid, because that would mean the end of this sweet affair she had gotten herself so attached to. She enjoyed the way Gippal's hand felt in her hair, twisted up among the strands with the same casual grace that he tangled his body with hers during those stolen moments of the day. When they were on the _Celsius_, space was limited and so were beds – Rikku would surely notice who her boyfriend was sleeping with. Yuna could already see her cousin's face grow green with anger and jealousy, and she would tear them apart strand by strand. Rikku was like that, and Yuna didn't want to see her hurt like that… and so, she would sacrifice what she had so foolishly created with her cousin's lover.

No longer would Yuna feel the electric of Gippal's touch, see the current of emotion running through his eye.

She hardly even noticed him kissing her, and she mentally reprimanded herself. They would be leaving as soon as the airship was fixed, and this would all have to end soon… she should enjoy what she could while it was still possible.

But before she could lose herself in his mouth, he was gone.

Yuna walked down the sandy main road of Besaid after visiting with Wakka and Lulu for a while. She loved those two like her brother and sister, but they were so wrapped up with each other and the baby that she often felt out of place in their little hut. She smiled softly, remembering the days when she and Lulu would sit outside and play with dolls, arguing about whether the dolls should have green or black clothes, and giggling as they watched Wakka run around with the boys of the village.

She felt as though a butterfly had landed in her stomach when she found herself wishing that she could go back to that time when everything was so simple and peaceful… and when she didn't have to worry about looking in the wrong direction and seeing the man she had just slept with draping his arms around another woman.

Yuna clenched her teeth and looked away. She needed to walk forward into the temple… even if she couldn't remember why, exactly, she had been going to the temple in the first place. Maybe she hadn't been going to the temple, but it seemed like a good idea, as long as it would keep her from looking at Gippal and Rikku.

The heels of her boots clunked on the steps as she walked toward the entrance, refusing to turn her head to the right and let her eyes see the happy couple again as they stood there on the pristine green grass looking out over the side of the hill.

She couldn't close her ears, though.

"We'll be leaving this week, right?"

"You saw how well it was going. We'll be in the air soon, _cfaadraynd_."

Yuna fumed. _Cfaadraynd_ was what he was supposed to call _her_, not Rikku! _Cfaadraynd_ was Gippal's name for _Yuna_! He was supposed to whisper that to her, and her only, during the throes of passion!

Perhaps Yuna had made a mistake to think she was special.

Once she got inside the temple, she staggered under the weight of her anger until she found herself crouched down before the statue of High Summoner Gandof with her face hidden between her knees. She was the _High Summoner_, for Yevon's sake! Shouldn't Gippal treat her with a little more respect than that? Shouldn't he be proud to be with her, and want to devote himself to a relationship with her?

Obviously not. Yuna was clearly not important enough to make Gippal to stop pawing at Rikku. But what else was she to expect? Gippal was an Al Bhed…

…but she was half Al Bhed, too – she had one tell-tale green eye, just like Gippal. Anything she could say about Gippal, she could say about herself.

Everything Yuna thought about relating to Gippal was illogical. She had known from the beginning that Gippal and Rikku were rather involved, and that she was just a plaything for Gippal – or maybe even just a conquest. She had known that! And yet she consented to it; she didn't even try to resist him.

Yuna wished she could take the past few weeks back and do them over again. She would have never let Gippal hold her as night was falling and Rikku was busy arguing with Brother. She wouldn't have let him sweet talk her that night, away from the hustle and bustle of airship repairs, and she most certainly wouldn't have invited him back to her hut to share her new soft lime green blanket when the night grew cold.

She couldn't go back in time. She couldn't fix it, and she had let herself be hurt by her cousin's boyfriend! Everything was such a mess.

Yuna turned her face upwards, looking at the stone face of High Summoner Gandof. "What should I do?" she asked the statue, as though it would have an answer for her.

Lord Gandof, of course, had no answer for her. Yuna sighed, her eyes tracing the lines of the stone-hewn robe of the High Summoner, finding simple comfort in the familiarity of Yevon.

The temples had always been there for her, even after the abolishment of Sin, to offer that familiar comfort. The priests of Besaid were always friendly to her and, particularly after the Vegnagun incident and Yuna's friendship with Baralai, willing to help her with whatever she needed.

Baralai.

Maybe that was the answer she needed.

She caught the attention of the nearest priest and asked for access to the temple's Commsphere. For Yuna, the temple would do anything – even put her on a direct line to the Praetor of New Yevon.

_Everybody,_

_I've decided to take Baralai's invitation to visit Bevelle. I'm sorry to leave on such a short notice, but I decided that it was time. _

_Yuna_


	3. Three

**Part Three**

_Yunie,_

_I hope I didn't make you mad somehow! You seemed so angry when you left that I was scared to ask you what was wrong! Paine's been no help, but she says that you didn't even say anything to her before you left either. Gippal says you probably figured that it was time to make the move on Baralai… I hope he's right! Good luck with that lidea, he'd be a great husband, Yunie! I hope you got to Bevelle okay, let me know if you receive this!_

_Love,_

_Rikku_

"Is all well?"

Yuna looked up from the letter and smiled at Baralai. "Yes, Rikku is just concerned about my trip."

Baralai laughed, that shallow sound he made when he wasn't sure what else to say. Yuna had already learned to gauge the meanings of the little sounds that he made. The shallow laugh was an indication that he didn't know how to respond and was ready to move onto another topic. "Did you enjoy your breakfast?"

Yuna smiled, more because she was proud of herself for figuring Baralai out than because she was happy that the Praetor was concerned about the quality of her pancakes. "Of course," she replied, starting to walk down the long hallway with its bright stained glass windows. "Everything about Bevelle is just as I remember it, before things got bad."

As they passed a crimson and sapphire window depicting Yunalesca, her arms outreached and face lifted to welcome the morning sun, Yuna noted that Baralai was walking with his elbow slightly extended – an invitation for her to take his arm. "We are trying to restore Bevelle to its glory, before the corruption of Yevon and the destruction caused by the last battle with Sin." He smiled as though he was proud of the progress.

Yuna tucked the letter from Rikku into the back pocket of her shorts and then put her hand in the crook of Baralai's elbow before she even realized what she was doing. His arm was warm, and the material of his robe was surprisingly soft. Yuna had expected it to be made of coarse wool or something similar, but it had the soft texture of cashmere. "Bevelle is as beautiful as ever," she replied, smiling down at the ground instead of at Baralai. She was so close to him that she could feel his body swaying as he walked. "But what of New Yevon?"

Baralai sighed, and Yuna could feel his elbow tighten around her hand just a little bit. "It's tiring," he replied finally, pausing next to a window and looking up at the dark blue glass depiction of the symbol of Yevon. The varying shades of blue in the glass cast a soft glow across Baralai's features, with a line of aqua crossing the olive brown of his cheeks and mouth. "Sometimes I feel as though it's an insurmountable task, to join New Yevon with the rest of a progressive Spira."

Yuna reached over and patted his arm, her hand crossing through a patch of sky blue light. "The temples aren't made to _be_ progressive, Baralai," she replied, turning her eyes back up to the window. "Joining them with the liberal sort of people of the Youth League or the Machine Faction is like putting oil in water."

"It is what the people want."

"Clearly, it isn't working."

"What else are we supposed to do?"

"There is such a thing as..." Yuna paused for a moment, then turned to Baralai and slipped her hand out of his arm, placing it on his shoulder. "Peaceful coexistence." She smiled brightly, looking up and meeting the gaze of his gentle brown eyes. "Why can't you three get along?"

"It's impossible," Baralai informed her, looking down into that collar of his and shaking his head. "The three factions are completely different, and everyone is struggling to find a new leader of Spira."

"Why do we need one single leader?"

Baralai appeared to falter, turning his eyes away from Yuna's features. "Because… because Spira needs to be united under one banner… and… it's the way it's always been…"

"'It's the way it's always been'," Yuna repeated, keeping her hands on Baralai's shoulders, forcing him to look at her. "And Yevon controlled Spira into believing in false hope, in continuing in a terrible cycle of death and destruction without questioning. This is what happens when there is one person or one organization controlling all of Spira!"

Baralai's mouth opened slightly as though he wanted to say something to respond to Yuna's outburst but changed his mind at the last moment.

Yuna paused only slightly, then took her arms off of Baralai's shoulders and turned away from him. "Why not have the three of you run Spira… together?"

"Together?" Baralai finally managed to say. "The three factions? Impossible."

"Not so!" Yuna insisted, thrusting her hands down at her sides and staring up at the window, the blue light shading both of her eyes. Her back was still to Baralai. "The three of you could rule Spira as a triumvirate. Just by your different orientation it's automatically a system of checks and balances – and the three of you are together in your search for truth. You _know_ what is good for Spira, and you're all searching for it!" She suddenly turned back to Baralai, her long braid curling around her hips as she did so. "So, instead of fighting, why not work together? If anyone can do it, it would be the three of you."

Baralai appeared to be thrown by what Yuna had said. He had turned his head to the side as she spoke, his collar obscuring the lower half of his face. "Yuna," he said, his voice almost getting lost in the soft material of his robe. "What you speak of… it would require the support of everyone of Spira. It would be difficult to get the support of so many people."

"No," Yuna replied, shaking her head. "They would follow you three. Everyone on Spira follows one of you three, and so you would have the support of—"

"Yuna," Baralai repeated, her name sounding as clear as the first tone of the bells from the temple on a clear Sunday morning, "You would support such a system?"

She nodded.

"Then we'll need your voice behind it." Baralai now put his hands on Yuna's shoulders, and she could feel her back stiffen under his touch.

_Tidus_. She could see Shuyin – Tidus! – in his form, with his hands on her shoulders. Baralai's form disappeared, replaced by Shuyin, replaced by _Tidus_…

There he was, his beautiful blue eyes staring into hers, promising her "Forever". Forever… no, Tidus wasn't there for her forever. And Shuyin… Shuyin was just using her for Lenne…

And Gippal was just using her, too.

Everyone was just using her. What would make Baralai any different? He was just using her to give New Yevon a good name, to try to put together a leadership for Spira…

"Yuna?"

She snapped back to reality, and found herself staring right into Baralai's eyes. They were brown… brown. Not blue like Tidus's, and not that ethereal shade of aqua like Shuyin's.

They were just brown. They matched his skin perfectly, a contrast to his stark white hair above that blue bandana. Even in the blue hue of the light from the window, his hair was still white, and the whiteness was even accentuated by the addition of the blue. Nothing about Baralai was blue, nothing was there to remind Yuna of the colour of Tidus's eyes… except that bandana.

"Baralai?" Yuna asked randomly, feeling her voice shake and hating herself for it.

"You felt faint… are you alright?"

Yuna bit her lower lip, her eyes being drawn to the blue of that bandana. "Would you… take your bandana off?"

Baralai blinked. "Take my… bandana off?" He put his hand to the cloth that covered his forehead. "Why?"

Yuna didn't think that 'because it reminds me of my ex' would be a good response, so she simply smiled and looked down at the floor. "I like your hair," she said lamely.

"You… like my hair?" Baralai ran a hand through his hair and looked away.

Yuna realized how stupid that had sounded and struggled for a way to recover from it. "I… mean… that I just think you'd look really good, you know, with your hair down." She smiled hopefully.

Baralai stared at her for a moment, then shook his head and offered his arm again. Yuna tried to divert some of the blood rushing to her cheeks by putting her hand in the crook of his elbow again and walking down the hallway. She thought for sure that Baralai had thought her to be completely inane, going from political talk to complimenting him on his hair…

Yuna hung her head, watching the floor as they walked. Sixteen steps and two windows later, Baralai's voice came to her as her right foot landed in a pane of yellow light on the gray carpet. "My hair hangs in my eyes," he said, his tone gentle and amused.

She didn't even realize that she had been holding her breath until she exhaled, looking up at Baralai's face. He wore a small smile, looking straight ahead down the hallway.

It occurred to Yuna that Baralai was trying desperately hard not to laugh.

_Gippal,_

_If I asked you to rule Spira with me, what would you say?_

_Baralai_


	4. Four

_Author's note: lidea is Al Bhed for "cutie". Enjoy. _

**Part Four**

_Baralai,_

_You're crazy… but what else is new? Are you back to the old threesome at the top idea?_

_You know Nooj is up for it. He's always wanted a hack at running Spira. As for me… well, someone's gotta watch out for the interests of the Al Bhed. So yeah, but you know, we're currently stuck on Besaid thanks to Brother's fantastic piloting._

_Send Yuna my heart, but keep some for yourself, lidea._

_Gippal_

Yuna realized that her chin was resting on Baralai's shoulder, and that she had been reading over his shoulder. Judging by the look he gave her, Yuna knew she wasn't in trouble. "Baralai, it's late," she reminded him, looking up out the large picture window that spanned the entire east wall of his office. The lights of Bevelle were all on, lighting up the city like a field of stars on a dark indigo background. "You've been doing work all day."

Baralai put Gippal's letter down on his desk. "The mail arrived late," he tried to explain.

"That's no excuse," Yuna chided, taking Baralai by the elbow and trying to lift him to his feet. Unfortunately, Baralai was larger and heavier than Yuna could handle, and he merely remained seated and looked at her. "Come on. Show me around Bevelle?"

"Weren't you born in Bevelle?"

He had caught her. "Yes, but…" Yuna looked away, searching the window for something to say. "I haven't really been here for more than a few minutes since you took over, since the Calm. Surely things must have changed." She smiled cutely, hoping to distract him. "Show me?"

Baralai sighed and cast his eyes back toward the desk. Yuna could see the indecision etched on his face, mirroring the lines of shadow cast by the open blinds from the window. "Yuna," he said, still looking down.

"Please?" She batted her eyelashes.

Baralai sighed. Yuna knew he was giving in; she could tell by the way he sighed and shook his head.

"Alright," he finally said.

Yuna clasped her hands together. "Oh, thank you," she said, taking Baralai by the arm again and lifting him to his feet – with a little bit of help from Baralai himself this time. "And it seems like it's such a nice night."

"A little cold," Baralai replied, standing up and straightening his robe. "But I'm sure it'll be nice. Come, Lady Yuna." He offered his arm.

Yuna smiled and placed her hand in the crook of his elbow, and the two of them walked out of the office together, Baralai's robe floating in the air behind them.

"Gippal sent you 'his heart'," Baralai informed Yuna as they walked down the Highbridge and toward the actual city of Bevelle.

"I read," Yuna replied in a low voice. Had Baralai not noticed that she had been looking over his shoulder at Gippal's response?

His footsteps slowed to a stop, and the two of them stood at the very edge of the Highbridge, looking out over the glittering lights of the inner city. A blue and lavender lift hovered a few paces in front of them for transport down into the streets, and behind them was the main concourse of the airship docks. Things were quiet at this time of night when many of the bright lights of the city were turned off and the stars could be seen twinkling in the sky above. Normally, in other parts of Spira, the night sky appeared to be such a deep blue color that it was nearly black; here in Bevelle, however, due to the fuel emissions from the airships that constantly circled the city and the perpetual existence of light from the various buildings, the sky appeared to be more of a purple color than in other areas. The different color gave Bevelle a distinctly different feeling from the rest of Spira, like it was somehow blessed even though the cause of the difference was pollution in the air.

Yuna had her face turned to the sky, staring up at the twinkling lights of the stars and ignoring her thoughts about the cause of the purple field they laid on. Bevelle itself looked like a mirror of the sky, the patterns of lights below forming patterns reflecting the ones above. She almost didn't hear Baralai's voice. "Are you and Gippal…?"

Yuna could feel her heart racing as she lowered her eyes from the violet heavens. "Are we what?"

"Together?"

That word hung in the air between them, threatening to crystallize and fall to the ground, shattering and sending pieces all across the purple tile of the Highbridge.

"No," Yuna responded, unlocking her hand from Baralai's elbow and folding her fingers together. "We're not."

"Then why did he write that?"

"Why did he tell you to keep a 'piece for yourself'?"

Baralai was silent then, and Yuna could feel the change in the mood. The atmosphere was heavier and darker, but it was far from hostile. "He's with Rikku," Yuna continued, forcing her voice to come out and willing it not to shake.

Nodding, Baralai turned his own eyes up to the sky. "He's been with her for a long time now," he agreed, the purple of the heavens reflecting in his deep brown eyes. "Perhaps because he can't actually have her."

Yuna wasn't prepared for that. "What… do you mean?" She turned to face Baralai.

He was leaning against the rail, his hands spread more than his body's width apart, looking up at the sky still. "Gippal pursues until he gets what he wants," he informed Yuna, then turned his eyes to her. Yuna could barely keep her concentration on what he was saying as she realized that his eyes still held traces of the hue of the sky. "He'll only pursue until he has it, and then he'll let it get away again. My guess is that Rikku won't give in to him, not fully anyway."

Yuna could feel her eyes widening. "So that's why he…!" She clasped her hand over her mouth. No one was supposed to know about that!

Baralai seemed to understand, however, though he didn't finish her sentence. Yuna's heart fluttered in her chest like a hummingbird on a lilac. "Gippal is like that," he said, and it appeared that he was trying to console Yuna in some way. "He'll break your heart and you won't even notice."

Like being struck by a low-flying kite in high winds that sometimes dominated Bevelle's purple sky, Yuna realized suddenly that Baralai was speaking from experience. It knocked the wind out of her, but not before she could babble her surprise. "You and… Gippal…?"

Baralai nodded simply. "He pursued until he got what he wanted."

Yuna put her hand on his shoulder. "I'm… really sorry." She looked at him, imagining the way he and Gippal must have looked together, and finding a smile on her face in spite of how mad she should have been at Gippal. It was impossible to be upset with the man… either of them. "But, I have to wonder—"

"I know what you're thinking," he replied, turning to face her. "I assure you that right at this moment, I am far more interested in _you_ than anyone else."

Yuna couldn't breathe. The combination of the realization that Gippal and Baralai had slept together with Baralai admitting fully his interest in her made Yuna's stomach do flips inside of her body. All she could do was look up at him, gazing at that sweet smile he was wearing that carried with it the mystical hue of Bevelle's night sky, knowing suddenly that it was all for her.

Baralai gazed back at her for a moment, their eyes meeting in mutual agreement somewhere in the inches separating their bodies, before he looked away slowly. Yuna found herself gazing at his ethereal white hair which perfectly absorbed the purple color surrounding them, wondering how it came to be that shade and if it was natural or not.

"Come, Lady Yuna," Baralai said, offering his arm and taking a step back from her. "It's late and becoming cold, I wouldn't want you to fall ill."

Yuna had to smile. The tension of the moment had been abated, and once again she took his arm, and they proceeded down the lavender tile of the Highbridge and back to the temple.

_Rikku,_

_Don't ever let Gippal break your heart. Hold him firmly with both hands, and don't ever give in to him. _

_Things are fine here in Bevelle. Don't worry about me. _

_Love,_

_Yuna_


	5. Five

**Part Five**

_Yunie,_

_How's Bevelle? How's Baralai? Has he popped the question yet?_

_We finally finished fixing the Celsius. Of course, we have to go right away because Gippal claims he has something important to do with Nooj and Baralai. He won't tell me what, but I hope he's not getting into trouble again!_

_Write me back, okay?_

_Love, _

_Rikku_

Yuna finished reading Rikku's letter for the fourth time, sighed, and put it down on the bedside table. Her eyes scanned the dark gold hands of the clock… four o'clock AM.

She laid back down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling again, wishing that she could will herself to sleep. This was the sixth time she'd done this that night. Soon the sun would rise and another day would begin in beautiful Bevelle, and she would have gotten about fifteen minutes of sleep.

Of course, the problem was Baralai. He was so _polite_ and sweet that Yuna couldn't get him out of her head. As they had walked back down the Highbridge, basking in the golden glow of the temple's outside lights, he had chastely offered his arm and walked with her, the same way he had always done.

It made Yuna wonder if his admission, "I am far more interested in _you_ than anyone else," even meant anything. Was Baralai just being polite?

Toying with someone's heart wasn't very polite!

He had slept with Gippal, and had all but admitted that to her without even flinching. Was he gay? Was he just looking for a wife to wear his golden ring and please the Yevon clergy? They had always frowned on gay men, although they turned their eyes away from women. Yuna knew that much, and had always wondered why that was. Perhaps, she thought, they were hiding something.

Was Baralai hiding something?

He was hiding a lot, she knew. He had hidden the existence of Vegnagun from everybody and had even fought against them to protect it. He was good with secrets.

Speaking of secrets… oh, he knew that she had slept with Gippal, too! How could she have been so dumb as to blurt that out, practically throw it in his face? Why could she not act normally in front of him? Why did she have to make inane hair comments and then blurt out that she had slept with a man – Baralai's friend and (former?) lover, no less! – while he was in a relationship with her _cousin_!

Yuna convinced herself that she was a terrible person. Tidus would be so disappointed in her. She wanted to love him, for he was the first person she had kissed, the first one she had loved, and she had gone to the ends of Spira to find him…

…but she had found Baralai instead. Was it right? Should she really forsake Tidus for a secretive man who had slept with other men?

…should she have forsaken him for _Gippal_?

Yuna couldn't lay still, distracting her body by working her fingers through the gold fringe of the pillow she was laying her head on. Her thoughts would plague her if she didn't do something else to take her mind off of it. She had forsaken Tidus, she knew it, but she couldn't go back in time and fix it. And she didn't want to be miserable forever!

She stood up and crossed the room, her bare feet making small shifting sounds on the thick carpet. The view out the window held the same view it had an hour ago… a sleeping Bevelle, lights twinkling in the distance from streetlamps and the occasional bright window. It was a beautiful view, but she had gotten enough of it.

The guest rooms were part of an annex, separated from the Temple by a long covered hallway. Yuna wondered what went on in the Temple in the early morning hours, if the sunrise worshippers still came and prayed in the moments before the sun peeked over the horizon.

Maybe, she thought, it would do her some good to say a sunrise prayer. They had been considered the most powerful, she recalled, and it was the stillest and most effective time to communicate with Yevon.

She pulled open the door to her room and stepped into the hallway. Walking around the Temple certainly couldn't hurt.

The sounds of Yuna's bare feet changed from shifting to pattering as she entered the tiled hall of the Temple. Bevelle had a Cloister of Trials just like every other Temple did, but the main hall which housed the statues of the former High Summoners – and a statue of herself, she noted, which gave her an odd feeling that she was watching herself through someone else's eyes – was the grandest of the halls, with the statues gilded in gold, sprinkled with jewels. This Temple also had beautiful stained glass windows in its hall, even though they were dark now because the sun had not yet risen to cast its golden hue on the room below.

Candles cast dim light throughout the room, and a priest nodded at her before continuing on his way down the hall into the breezeway of the Temple. Yuna took a few steps forward, looking up at the ceiling and the gilded statues.

She smiled at the familiar faces of the High Summoners, feeling the warmth of recognition fill her heart with soft light. Yevon was familiar, and it was welcoming to her. Best of all… Gippal wasn't here.

_Please keep him out of my heart_, she mouthed, looking up at the very apex of the curved ceiling, _please let me move on. Tidus, if you're listening, know that I will always love you… but that I know you would want me to be happy. That's all you ever wanted. _

Yuna smiled and lowered her head, looking at the golden face of Braska's statue. She missed her father, yes, but he had helped her bring the calm. Without him and the inspiration he gave to her, she would never have been able to accomplish what she did. She was sure that he was proud of her. She stepped forward to bow to him and ask for his advice in prayer – it couldn't hurt to try – but there was someone in her way.

A pale gray shirt and dark brown pants hid him in the shadows of the hall, but a ray of pale yellow light from the rising sun streaked in through the stained glass window above him, sending a cascade of gold over him. His head and face were hidden as he was on his knees, bent with his palms on the floor and the top of his head resting between them. Yuna recognized it instantly as the position of ultimate servitude, when someone had a particularly powerful request and was pledging their eternal devotion for the fulfillment of the prayer.

He lifted his head as the light from the window intensified with the rising sun, looking up at the statue of Lord Braska, and instantly Yuna knew she should have expected this.

She should have expected the white hair, askew and uncombed, down and free of its usual bandana, framing the olive skin that had a slightly yellow glow in the light from the window.

She should have expected her heart to stop, should have expected to see him here, should have known that of all the people in the entire world to find here, he was at the top of the list.

She should have expected Baralai.

Her gasp seemed to alert him to her presence, and he turned excruciatingly slowly as he got to his feet. She had seen him in the deepest prayer position, indicating the depth of his prayer… to her father. Even Yuna knew that it was slightly humiliating to be seen in such a position, and here she was, just gawking at Baralai.

She said the only thing that came to her mind, "Your hair's down," and immediately hated herself for it.

Baralai, however, smiled reverently at her, as though she was the answer to his prayer.

Maybe, Yuna thought, she was.

_Nooj and Gippal,_

_As soon as you both arrive, we'll sit down and plan it all out. Thank you both for cooperating with me, and soon we'll be back piloting the ship of Spira – the right way this time. _

_Baralai_


	6. Six

**Part Six**

_Cid,_

_Thanks for writing. Yeah, the talks are going alright, even if the other two are being stubborn. Rikku's alright too, stop worrying so much about her. It's not like I'm gonna kill her or anything… unlike Brother. Anyway, yeah, the Al Bhed're gonna get a fair shake in this if I have anything to say about it, so don't sweat it. And yeah, I'll tell Yuna you said hi. _

_Gippal_

"Well, tell him I say hello back," Yuna said, turning away from Gippal. She had been avoiding him so well since he had arrived and the negotiations had begun, but she had known that he'd find her sometime. She just wished it would have happened while Baralai was around.

"Yuna, what's got you all riled up?" Gippal's hand found Yuna's shoulder, and she felt herself relax under his touch. "You've been hanging around in the temples too long; you need to relax."

His fingers worked at her shoulder muscles and, against her will, she relaxed back against him. "Gippal," Yuna murmured, trying to keep her eyes from fluttering closed, "What about Rikku?"

"What about her?"

What about her? Yuna wondered sometimes if she knew about Gippal's escapades… and if she did, would she really mind? With Rikku, you could never tell. It was even hard to figure out if she and Gippal were really together, or if he just lavished attention on her to try to woo her in the same way that had worked so well for Yuna.

The quiet sounds of Gippal's rough hands against the skin of her bare shoulder echoed down the hallway of the living annex, making Yuna feel self-conscious. She felt her breathing slow down as she became more aware of Gippal's hands on her shoulders and the precise way that he knew how to massage.

"Come on, Yuna, you know you miss it," Gippal whispered in her ear. "Let me remind you how to relax."

His offer was quite tempting, especially since Yuna knew precisely what Gippal was intending with his whispered words. Even though she knew what he was hinting at, she could feel herself submitting to it. It certainly couldn't hurt, she thought, and Gippal did know how to make her feel nice. He was like a guilty pleasure, like the fine chocolates they made in Luca… the ones that Yuna knew were terrible for her health but tasted so good. They melted on her tongue in a delectable way, leaving behind a sweet, sugary taste – even if, hours later, the stomachache set in and made those few moments of sweet pleasure seem minor in comparison.

Yes, Gippal was exactly like that. The few moments of blissful pleasure weren't worth the pain afterwards… and Yuna knew that. She knew how bad Gippal was for her, but she also knew how good it felt when he ran his hands along her shoulders… precisely the way he was doing right at that moment.

"Gippal."

Yuna opened her eyes. The voice, laced with warning, belonged to Baralai – she had no idea when he had arrived, or how much he had heard Gippal say to her. Half of her was overjoyed to see him; the other half wanted to run, crying, to her room and never come out. To be caught with Gippal -- and right after she had complained to him about Gippal's antics -- was shameful.

"Lai," Gippal said amicably, in a tone of voice that told Yuna all she needed to know about the friendship between the two men. It was hesitant at best – there was something between them, and Yuna knew exactly what it was. "You shouldn't interrupt the private time of others."

"Take your hands off her." If words could destroy people, Gippal would have been incinerated; Yuna could feel the hostile vibrations from Baralai's voice all around her. She didn't want the two to fight over her, but it seemed inescapable at that moment.

"She's not objecting," Gippal said, and Yuna could see the smile tearing across his face even as his voice remained warm and friendly. He seemed determined to throw Yuna's affection in Baralai's face!

"You heed no objections." Baralai's voice was frozen around the edges, as was his glare. Yuna felt the shiver run down her spine as she moved to step away from Gippal – however, he kept his hands on her shoulders, holding her right in place.

"No one ever objects to me," Gippal replied, his voice losing its warmth.

Yuna looked back and forth between the two men, seeing the delicate strings of their friendship freezing over, fraying underneath Baralai's icy glare and the heat of Gippal's fierce determination to show off. She felt caught in the middle, knowing that the negotiations for the future of Spira hung in as delicate a balance as their friendship… and she was the one tipping the scales. She couldn't let that happen, not when they were so determined to finally solve a few of Spira's problems.

"Gippal was just being nice," she said suddenly, desperate to put a hold on the uncomfortable situation developing in the hallway. She stepped forward, away from Gippal's grasp, and put her hand delicately on Baralai's arm. "Please, you two, don't fret over me so much." She smiled at Gippal, leaned up on her toes, and left a tiny kiss on Baralai's cheek before turning on her toes and walking down the hallway toward the outside door.

_Dear Lulu,_

_You know I've always looked up to you – you're my big sister! I've been wondering… how did you know you loved Wakka? You've been friends for so long… when, or how, did you realize that you loved your friend? How do you know the difference? _

_Love,  
__Yuna_


	7. Seven

**Part Seven**

_Yuna,_

_My, I must say that receiving a letter like that from you was quite a surprise. How did I know? Love is a fickle thing, Yuna, and it's not easy. There are always circumstances, always problems, always hardships to endure. When you find love, though, all those things seem… less of a problem than they would otherwise. How do you know who it is that you love is quite another matter, one far more difficult. The one you love… is the one you can live with, who makes all those problems seem like an adventure and not a hardship. _

_This probably does not answer any of your questions, but I can't tell you what love is like for you. It's something you have to find out for yourself. _

_Please take care, and let us know how it goes for you in Bevelle._

_Lulu_

Yuna averted her eyes from Baralai, Lulu's words coming back to her mind almost instantly. There he was, the man who had proclaimed his interest in her, who she wasn't sure if she loved.

Lulu had been absolutely no help!

"Lady Yuna," Baralai said, bowing his head politely. "I am sorry for the… disturbance yesterday."

Disturbance? Yuna looked at him, baffled for a moment, before it came back to her. The incident with Gippal in the hallway was what he meant, and she should have known that instantly.

It must have hurt for Baralai to see her like that with Gippal. Yuna could see the look of disappointment in his eyes, even though he masked it so well with his sweet endearing smile and the way he bowed his head to her. The disappointment was another secret that Baralai kept well.

Was he keeping it from her so that he wouldn't hurt her?

"Baralai," she said, reaching out and putting her hand on his arm. "Don't be sorry. I am… thankful," she smiled, "that you came when you did."

"I did not want to disrupt—"

"I'm grateful that you did," Yuna interrupted him, keeping her voice low. "It kept me from making a mistake."

Baralai finally lifted his eyes to look at her. "A mistake?"

Yuna nodded, taking her eyes off of Baralai for a moment as she thought about how she wanted to say what she had been torturing herself over for the past few days. "I… didn't want to let Gippal persuade me to do what he wanted."

Baralai's eyes widened. "Was he…?" He didn't seem like he was able to say the next words of his question.

"Yes, but please don't be upset," Yuna said quickly, running her hand up Baralai's arm to his shoulder, and then letting her palm rest on his cheek lightly. "After all, that is just how Gippal is. I haven't learned how to handle him yet."

Smiling almost imperceptibly, Baralai replied, "I'm not entirely sure anyone ever learns how to handle Gippal."

"He _is_ a problem, isn't he?" Yuna took her hand off of Baralai's cheek, dropping it down to her side again. Had she just made a mistake, bringing that subject up with Baralai again?

"Of course, but he prefers it that way." Baralai paused, looking up at the tall orange and red stained glass window next to them. They always seemed to have these conversations in the long, windowed hallways… and Yuna was comfortable with that. "If he was any other way, he wouldn't be Gippal anymore."

"Less egotistical," Yuna mused, looking over her shoulder at Baralai.

"More polite," Baralai added with a slight nod of his head.

"Perhaps a little more humble."

"A quieter voice."

"Less forceful."

Baralai laughed lightly, a musical sound that bounced off the windows back to Yuna's ears. It was a lovely thing to hear from Baralai. "Why do you laugh?" Yuna had to wonder.

"Thinking about how Gippal would react if he heard us," he admitted.

Yuna grinned. "Perhaps he _should_ hear us," she said, putting her finger to her chin thoughtfully. "Maybe that would be beneficial to all involved."

Baralai shook his head, still smiling. "I wouldn't want to change him, though," he finally replied. "I would hope he knew that we were simply teasing."

"Of course," Yuna replied, looking away shyly. Maybe she had offended Baralai now by making these references to one of his best friends – a former lover, she had to remind herself at that most inopportune moment.

"The world needs people like Gippal," Baralai said, and Yuna could feel his hand lightly graze her elbow. "They make it exciting… and give us things to smile and laugh at."

"But there are many things to smile and laugh about," Yuna added, looking up at him as he drew nearer to her.

"Of course," he replied, paused, then continued, "Though not all are so… easily accessible."

Yuna didn't know what to make of his comment, so she just looked at him for a moment, hoping for clarification.

Her clarification came as she felt Baralai's hand sliding down her arm, to her wrist, then her palm… and she felt his fingers, delicate and gentle, slide between hers.

She looked down, seeing his fingers intertwined with hers, dark olive crossing light tan, and couldn't help but to smile.

_Lulu,_

_Thank you for your letter. At first, I didn't think you were being helpful at all, but now… I see the truth in your words. You gave me a lot to think about… thank you. _

_Yuna_


	8. Epilogue

Author's Note: Sorry to end this fic so abruptly, and so late. I just don't have really much inspiration to continue it anymore, but I wanted to finish it off.

**Epilogue – Six Months Later**

_Dear Tidus,_

_I know you're gone… I know. It's been a long time. But if you ever find this, if you're out there somewhere and this letter gets to you, I hope you'll read it. _

_You know I love you. You were my first love, and you still are. I will always love you, until the day I stop breathing. I hope you'll remember this. But I have to move on. _

_It's been hard for me to accept that you're gone. If you're not back in your Zanarkand now, and if you really are still in Spira, then it's been long enough for me to realize that you're not coming back to me. It made me sad for a while, but now, it makes me happy to just remember the times I had with you._

_You were wonderful to me. The way you protected me all through my Pilgrimage, right until the very end – you stood by me and made sure I was safe. You helped us defy our religion and break free of the chains that had held us for so long. If you hadn't been there, I probably would have died in Yevon's game. _

_Yes, I owe my life to you. All of Spira owes everything to you. But… I have this life, now, and I didn't know what to do with it for so long. I stayed in Besaid, but I was useless and helpless. Then, just to do something, I became a Spherehunter and met some wonderful friends. We protected Spira, together, and all the while, I searched for you._

_But I never found you. We were all over Spira, but I never found you. _

_It made me sad for a little while. But I know you – you gave me my life, you saved me from the death of a Summoner, so that I could have a life. I realized, through the help of my friends, that you wouldn't be happy with the way I was mourning over you. You would want me to live and enjoy my life. I know that now. _

_So I've moved on. I'm the High Summoner, and I'm using my position to help Spira now. I know how you hated when I married for position before – with Seymour – but it's different now. The man I am with is a good man, caught in a difficult position. He is responsible for Yevon after the death of Yevon's god, just as I am. It seems – I am embarrassed to say so! – that many of the people in Spira almost view me as a god of sorts. I don't like it, but that is the way of things. _

_Baralai is his name. He is my husband now. He is the Praetor of New Yevon and I am the High Summoner, and together we are trying to help those who are still reeling from the death of Yevon to cope with a new life. Don't worry – I won't let it become corrupted again. You were there when we found the corruption, and I am determined to keep that from happening again. _

_Together with our friends Nooj and Gippal, we are bringing Spira together as a whole. You would have liked the way things are working now. Gippal is an Al Bhed – he reminds me of you, in certain ways – and he and his faction are in charge of the technology of Spira, of business and travel and blitzball (it's still so very important – you would be proud!). The Al Bhed are really gaining a place in society through him… they aren't repressed any longer, not if I have anything to say about it! Nooj, on the other hand, is a warrior. He's the leader of the military groups, and he also has used the military to undertake projects to decipher and document Spira's history. Too long have we not known our past! Nooj and the Youth Leage (as he calls it –they really are the former Crusaders) are taking care of that project, and also they are helping to rebuild Spira! _

_And then… Baralai and I take care of everything else. Everyone still looks to Yevon for moral guidance, for a community to belong to. We try to provide that. I'm the one, really, who has the voice of Spira, since everyone is so eager to listen to me. I think most of the people in Spira would do anything I asked of them! It's disconcerting, in a way, but with Baralai's help, I am trying to use it for the good of the world. We try to keep people working together, and give them a group to belong to and something to strive for in life. We've tried to modify the teachings to make them less Yevon-centric and more Spira-centric, but those changes are still in the process of happening. _

_I'm probably boring you. I just wanted to let you know what I was doing… I wanted to let you know that I am happy! I miss you, yes, every day. I am still fond of you, but I am still trying to do something good for Spira, even without you here. Baralai is a wonderful partner in this, and he's a wonderful husband too. He has never spoken an ill word in my presence, nor has he ever laid a malicious hand on me… well, not since we became friends, anyway. He is a good man, Tidus. I daresay I love him – it is a learned love, though, not the same as what I felt with you. It is a love out of respect. They are different feelings, but both are wonderful. _

_I will write to you whenever I am able. I'll keep sending them in bottles over the sea, and maybe they'll make their way to you, wherever you are. _

_All my love, _

_Yuna_

Yuna felt a pair of arms slip around her waist as she watched the dark brown glass bottle drifting on the turquoise and teal waves. She leaned back against the body that she had come to know so well, breathing the familiar scent of Baralai. "What are you doing out here by yourself?" whispered a warm voice in her left ear.

She turned her head, making out the golden brown of Baralai's eyes through her auburn hair. "Watching the sea," she replied, smiling. Her fingertips ran over the golden band circling her left ring finger. "What are you doing out here?"

"Enjoying some private time with a beautiful woman," Baralai replied, a small smile on his tawny lips. "There's no better way I'd like to spend the day after my wedding."

Yuna could hardly hide her blush. It was one thing she envied about Baralai – he could hide his blushing behind his dark skin. She could tell, however, when his cheeks grew hot – the tawny brown gained a slight reddish tint, and he blinked his eyes quickly and looked away.

There were many things about Baralai that Yuna had grown to adore. He had a gentle shyness to him that she saw in moments like these, when he was holding her and seemed poised on the brink of speech but too hesitant to continue. His lips would be parted, revealing his teeth, and she could almost see his breath catching in the darkness of his mouth as he tried to decide whether to speak or not.

Often, she would speak before him, because she knew it made it easier for him to converse. "You should probably be spending this time with your wife, then," she teased, trying to look at him seriously. "It's no good for a married man to be gallivanting around with other women!"

Baralai's grins were contagious, Yuna had realized over the past six months. When he grinned at her the way he was now, she could feel a matching expression forming itself on her lips. "Well, with one as beautiful as this, I can hardly resist," he teased back.

Yuna laughed lightly, the sound nearly swallowed by the sounds of the ocean. She turned back to look out at the horizon, and her eyes caught on the bottle that carried her message to Tidus. She lost herself in gazing out at it, leaning back in the comfortable hold of Baralai's arms, and she felt at peace with herself and everything around her.

It was a nice feeling.

"Yuna, come inside," Baralai whispered, again into her ear. "I have something for you."

Yuna turned, taking her eyes off the floating bottle and finding her gaze on Baralai's chin. "Is it candlelight and rose petals?"

Shock wove its way across Baralai's features, and he slowly turned his head to look at her. "How did you know?"

Yuna smiled to herself. Baralai was quite predictable. "Because that's what you're supposed to do for a honeymoon," she informed him in her most polite voice. "It's only proper."

Baralai lowered his head, but he was smiling. That made Yuna feel better. "Will you pretend to be surprised?"

"I don't have to," Yuna replied, ducking her head to meet Baralai's gaze. For an instant, she watched his pale brown eyes -- the same color as his skin – and she felt frozen in the moment.

They both remained unmoving for many moments, just gazing at each other. Yuna was almost unable to believe how comfortable she had grown to feel with Baralai, and yet how surprised she could still feel sometimes that he was her husband.

Yuna closed her eyes as Baralai laced his hand through her hair and kissed her gently. Then, she felt him take her around the waist, and when she opened her eyes he had picked her up into his arms and was carrying her inside.

As the door closed, Yuna caught one final glimpse of the bottle carrying her message, as it continued to work its way out to sea. She smiled one last time before the door clicked shut.

_Dear Yuna,_

_All I ever wanted was your happiness. Now that you've found it, I can be happy too._

_Love, _

_Tidus_


End file.
